Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Anybody Got an Extra Escalator?

"If you had a broken elevator you would need to be like the hulk and carry an escalator in your pocket."

Monday, November 29, 2010

Dancing FIXES Freaked Out Skin, Actually.

My friend's daughters were dancing.
"Stop that. If you do that it makes my skin freak out because... I hate that. Because it makes my skin freak out."

Sunday, November 28, 2010

My New Favorite Song

The kid was playing his guitar, strumming something that actually sounded like a tune.
"Mom, do you know what that song was called?"
"No, what?"
He put down his guitar and whispered in my ear, "Don't forget me."

Friday, November 26, 2010

Hard Hitting Questions.

Watching a Batman cartoon:
"Mom. Why can't real regular people go on the ceiling? I mean on the roof? Why?"
"Well, because regular people just can't make their bodies jump that high."
"Oh."

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Probably So.

"When I'm a Dad, maybe I'm gonna still be funny."

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I think I just got 'dissed.

Colin wasn't feeling well this morning. I helped him out and we went about our day. Checking in with him later:
"How does your body feel now,
buddy?"
"Uh...Better than yours."

Monday, November 22, 2010

The Ocean Floor Maybe?

"Mom, do mermaids live in the ocean or in the floor?"

Sunday, November 21, 2010

This Much

"Mom, how much does everybody love you?"
"I don't know, how much?"
Throws his arms wide to his sides, "This much."
"How much do I love you, Mom?"
"I don't know...how much?"
Throws his arms wide to his sides, keeps going, wraps them around his back as far as possible.
"This much."

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Sometimes I forget.

Chastising me for walking too fast:
"Mom, if you go away from me in the dark sometimes, I'm scared. Because you know I'm just a regular kid."

Friday, November 19, 2010

No Habla Espanol

"Mom, how do you say 'hasta luego' in Spanish?"

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Badguys Vs. Gumballs

"Mom, I had-ed a dream that a bad guy was trying to shoot me in my eye, but then I got a gumball in my mouth, and then I spitted it out at him like "Phoo!" and he got dead."

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

So it's okay then.

The kid was smacking his ankle against a wall.
SMACK! SMACK! "Ow."
SMACK! SMACK! "Ow. That really hurts."
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Colin, why do you keep doing that if it hurts?!"
SMACK!
"Well, it didn't get my blood out."

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world.

Don't Stop Believin' by Journey came on the radio. I turned it up.
"Mom. That song freaks me out."
"Want me to change it?"
"No."

Sunday, November 14, 2010

I wanna be in pictures...

"When I'm grown up and I'm in a movie, it's going to be a Stretchy-Man movie and I'm going to be Stretchy-Man!"

Friday, November 12, 2010

I kick it and so do you.

This text just in from today's carpool mom:
"Your son was serenading us with a guitar solo all the way to school that he titled "You Kick Ask!" - just FYI. :)"

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

We are not multi-lingual, but we can fool people.

The kid and I were sitting in the park waiting for some friends to show up when a Hispanic family walked by. "Shh! Mom, stop talking. Maybe they will think we can speak Spanish."

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Haha...ha?

"What if I was a skeleton and I was brushing my teeth and my bottom teeth fell out. That would be so funny."

Monday, November 8, 2010

Sometimes I forget the words too.

"Eenie Meenie Miney Mo. Datcha bida-bida bo. Datcha bida, let him go. Eenie Meenie Miney Mo."

Dreams are weird.

"Mom, I had-ed a dream of three guys and they were the big guys and other guys were the little guys. And their names were Fyder, because he flied, Lieder, because she lies all the time, and Kadinder. He is one of the big ones."

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Catchy Tunage

Songwriting in Batman pajamas, with Toys R Us guitar:
"Girrrrrlfriend....I don't want you. But girrrrrrrlfriend, I will want you later. And when I'm grown up, I will go to the beach and call my girrrrrlfriend. And go in my car wif my girrrrlfriend."

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Let's start a petition to rename it.


"Mom, what planet do we live in?"
"Earth."
"No, Saturn!"
"Um, nope. We live on Earth these days."
"No. Saturn. Because it looks WAY awesomer. Erf is too pokey."
"I agree."

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Not sure about the timing on this one...

"Mom! I have to tell you a secret!"
In my ear: "When I grow up, I'm gonna be your dad."

Monday, November 1, 2010

Balls Are People Too

"My ball was like 'No! No! No! I don't wanna go into the dark place! And then it was like 'Aaaaaaaaaaaah! DONK!"