"Mom, do you know how Santa Claus controls people?" "How?" "Wif his magic. Mom, don't you not want Santa Claus to control you?" "No, I don't." "Okay. So, say 'Dere's no way Santa Claus would control me." "There's no way Santa Claus would control me." "Haha. Mom! Santa Claus just controlled you to say dat!"
"One, don't use too much paper. Two, don't fro trash on da floor. Five, just water da plants, don't kill dem. And seven, just be yerselfs. Dats all da ways. And you better tell all your friends how ta take care of da erf."